Depression is cyclical, as are most things in nature.

Emotionally and Mentally speaking – I’ve been all over the place this past week, and today it appears as if I’m back here I started.

I make juice each night for my partner and I and we drink this first thing after we rise. It’s a new ritual that I’ve come to look forward to, it really gives me a sense of purpose, and it’s a new creative outlet for me as well. I really have fun coming up with new recipes for us to try each day.

So far, I’ve enjoyed juicing all sorts of Greens like Kale & Collards. I also love the taste of Beets now, and I juice the whole plant – root, stems, and greens!

In my last blog post, I mentioned a need to stick to a daily routine, as I personally notice the most positive, measurable changes when doing so. This week, I will be honest in saying that I have not followed this bit of advice myself and I’ve noticed some negative effects, specifically in my mood and overall sense of well-being.

I was feeling pretty low a little earlier in the day, and it’s hard to do most things when I feel that way – let alone take care of Self.

I didn’t feel like doing anything really, but I really really wanted an ice cream cone randomly. I made a conscious decision to honor this simple request, and create something that I knew that I would truly enjoy. I don’t eat ice cream made with Cow’s milk, and I knew that I had to do something to move that energy around, so this is what I came up with.

I made this Coconut ice cream last week – it’s just “OK”. The recipe that I followed kind of sucked, and I won’t mention the creator because that’s besides the point.

This is the finished Ice cream, I added Vanilla beans to it and I looks so much better!

I wasn’t really happy with the texture or the flavor of the finished product. It was good enough to put into something as an ingredient – like a milkshake or something wherein it wouldn’t be the star of the show.

It just wasn’t ice cream cone worthy.

I decided to make this whole situation better by grabbing the Waffle cones that we have stashed in the pantry – because we always like to have Waffle cones on hand to feed our inner children.

I started with one scoop of “Vanilla Bean ice cream”, if you want to call it that, and then I topped it with a scoop of this delicious Chocolate Hazelnut ice cream made with Oat Milk from the company So Delicious, and it was AMAZING.

All in all, this activity took about 10 minutes to complete, and I wanted to allow myself the time to enjoy this decadent treat.

Fully present, I sat down on the couch in our living room. The couch is situated next to this big, beautiful West-facing window, and between 3 and 4 o’clock everyday, sunlight spills into the room. Intent on enjoying this treat in it’s entirety with no remorse, I slowly began to eat the ice cream cone, while staring out across the room, watching the rays of sunshine dance across my bare legs, the plants, and different objects in the space.

As I enjoyed my ice cream cone, and took in my general surroundings, I thought about all of the things that I had to be grateful for, and I slowly but surely began to feel more grounded, safe, and secure.

My Ice cream cone in all of it’s glory.

After I finished my ice cream cone, I realized that it had been some time since I had drank any water, and so I got up to tend to some more of my needs. I ended up tidying up our apartment a little bit, and finally working up the nerve to head out and run an errand.

That small gesture of kindness and self-care was all that I needed in that instant.

It’s really hard to keep a balanced view of things when I feel a certain way. Doing something kind for Self is usually a good start, because it helps me to remember all of the things that I have to be grateful for – like dairy-free ice cream and/or my ability to follow a recipe to even make it on my own!

I still feel kind of “meh”, and I’m not going to say that I’m not walking on sunshine or anything extravagant like that, but at this point I’ve decided that I need to carry on. I’ve got so many things to do today, and now I feel (a little) more equipped to do so.

-Michaela ♥